Hiden Feelings

Keeping something gonig on is it really that tough , or rather so difficult

Today,this very day got a sense of emotional over coming me.Is it something which i can't control at all.I think so too, it's such an sudden outburst. IN my mind i was thinking wTf wTf wtf all the way... why must it be this very day.YEah shit happens anyway but i realli did step on shit.The fury in me is growing rapidly,whenever i try to over come it , it just didn't get any better.Oh well maybe there is something wrong with me .Now i'm crying , for what fuck i do not know and i will not understand .It just like some fucking teardrop rolling down my cheeks.Maybe i am supressing it all too much,far too much for me to handle them at one go.I wan to look on the positive side and go on with my life.i shouldn't be doing this ,too much pain for me to take , just too much.It just a small matter i step on shit , and shit knows my food was ruined and another customer's shit which was none of my business and why is everyone escaping from their responsiblilty ? am i running away from mine too ?
i wana eat but it gets me so angry whenever i see the food around .Or rather i am still grumbling over the whole matter...
Wtf is wrong .. can i have the sense of self control ?
or is too much for me to take ?

First time ,i couldn't sleep at nite,Weird feeling.It's just like ermm around 3 hrs differents and i am wide awake now with a pain in my heart.I could hardly sleep, if i did i bet i cried to sleep.

It was the first test,and both of us failed so badly.I couldn't imagine what will come between us the next time.Suddenly i am back to myself,been trying so hard to protect myself ,all this while i have been protecting myself ,not wanting to get hurt.I would get out of the whole thing first before it actually happened.And now it did,it all felt different,i started crying again.This time my heart hurts,hurts so badly.Never will i want to step into any of this shit again,Damn fucking tired ,no it's just so tiring ....holding back my tears is never easy.This time i got a feeling i am going to cry myself to sleep......